Today, I shall write.

I will give you two words in which to base your judgement of me: surviving and thriving.

I will give you one word in which to base your judgement of this blog: dead.

It is hard to understand why I am not blogging at all. Part of it is obvious...I don't have a whole lot of extra time. But really it is more than that, because I could jot off a quick blog entry every couple of days or even weekly and it wouldn't take that much time.

I think part of it is the feeling of the unnecessary. I started blogging for three reasons: 1. Boredom...in massive amounts, due to sitting in front of a computer for hours every day while hating it. 2. Because I was making a conscious and very real effort to live my real "non cube" life in exciting ways in which I was was taking lots of cool pictures, pushing myself to learn new things and experience Arizona for all it's glory. 3. I wanted to write as a catharsis for the feelings of unsatisfaction of the career/life path I was on and the exploration of determining what I wanted my new path to be.

These reasons have faded with a new challenge, more intellectually based than adventurous, and a feeling of immense rightness in that direction I am heading. I have still gotten out and explored some cool things, but I haven't been taking as many pictures, and I have felt the need to savor these special rare moments of nature to only myself.

I don't really want the blog to die, because I think it still serves it's purpose and I am proud of the history I have solidified through it. But it may be on hiatus, pending desire to write, because I don't see much point in writing simply to alleviate guilt for not.

Who knows what time will tell?

Also, on an aside, I completed my first quarter of school, passed my classes and got pretty damn good grades in all reality. I am now in a new set of challenging classes, that are much more related to real medicine, diseases, treatment and assessment and I really like it. Time is FLYING and my previous life with computers seems so distant to the bubble I have immersed myself in.

Thanks for still reading, most likely via Google Reader.

Cranial Nerve X

POP QUIZ: Where is Hannah?

A). She was kidnapped by aliens.

B.) She fell off her bike and broke all fingers and can't type with her tongue.

C.) She is stuck in the middle of finals week and can't wait until next Thursday when she will have a glorious 10 days off from the endurance sprint that is known as PA school.

If you guess correctly, you can help yourself to a cookie from the jar of will it never end.

Here are some photos from the trip to Fossil Creek I took a couple of weekends ago when I pretended like I didn't have studying to do. We camped in hammocks by the river and it was glorious.

Where did La Chaser go?

Ummm yeah....so about the blog....

Sort of haven't had any time to write lately. Or hike. Or bike. Or do any sort of "fun" activity. My life has been consumed with school. I go from one test to another with the feeling of cram between each one. I am surviving and thriving, but it takes a lot of work.

I have discovered, that I am smart enough and hard working enough and have enough dedication to studying to succeed in my classes. But it takes all my time. I really really have no life. I have also learned that I can study for 12 hours straight...seriously not a problem, flys by. I have also learned that I can actually survive on four hours of sleep, but it takes a lot of caffeine.

But the good news is, I have almost learned the entire body anatomically. I know every nerve, vessel, muscle, and bone in the body from the neck down...in eight

weeks. Finals are in three weeks and then I get a week off before coming back to even harder and more exciting classes.

I just had the priviledge of buying my first diagnostic set and stethoscope so I can now do a physical exam. I should the the hit at parties from here on out, listening to beer course through people's bladder.

Since I don't have any exams for a couple of weeks, I am getting out of town this weekend to camp by a lake on Friday night, and camp beside a waterfall on Saturday night. It is going to be glorious. It is amazing how 12 weeks of siting in a library makes you so grateful just to get out for a hike let alone camp.

But as I have said in most of my posts lately, each and every day I am more confident in my decision for this career. I actually may get to have a job I love some day. Glory be.

Have a grrrreeeeeaat weekend ladies and gentlemen. This is where I will be:

Changes.

On Friday I was conducting a mock chief complaint, history, and review of systems with a paid actor who happened to be an older man complaining of a red eye. Our school hires people to be difficult and they video tape us to see how we handle things. As he started yelling at me when I asked him about his sexual history (we were supposed to), I realized how bizarre the whole situation was. Five weeks ago, I wasn't talking to elderly men about how they can't get it up anymore.

Funny how quickly life can change. I can honestly say I am really starting to LOVE school. It is still ridiculously fast and requires studying all the time, but it feels more right every day.

Big test tomorrow morning on the abdomen, and chest so I must peace out. Lata.

A Day in the Life of a PA Student.

There is a reason that I have all but dropped off the face of the earth. Let me give you a taste of today which I assure you is very much the norm during the week. It changes on the weekends where it is just study for 14 hours straight.

6 am - Up, pack clothes to wear to school, lunch, coffee, and bookbag.

6:30 - 7:30 am - Out the door for my 1 hour commute while listening to anatomy lectures.

7:30 am - Workout at school gym, shower, eat breakfast. Study while on bike, ellipitical.

9 -12 pm - Three hours of behavioral medicine class (replace with Biochemistry on other days except for Thursdays when class starts at 8 instead of 9).

12 pm - Lunch for a blissful 30 min.

12:30 pm - Prepare for anatomy class at 1.

1 - 3 pm - Two back to back anatomy lectures.

3 - 5 pm - Cadaver Dissection Anatomy Lab

5 - 8 pm - Study at library.

8 - 9 pm - Drive home while listening to Biochemisty lectures.

9 - 9:30 pm - Stop at store for a couple of groceries.

9:30 - 10 - Dinner....STARVING.

10 - 12 am - More study. Possibly say hi to husband.

12 am - 6am - Hopefully sleep unless early exam requires I get up earlier than normal.

Did you see the blog time built in there? I didn't either. So check out some archives, look at some cool photos of Arizona and check back in the third week of August for my week long break where I assure you I will be doing something TBD (but I promise it will be hella awesome).

Week 3 of Boring Hannah

Argh...can't believe I haven't posted in over a week.

I am hanging in there. I just finished my first two big exams in both anatomy and biochemistry and guess what, am already behind in both classes. We have our exams at 6:30 am so that we don't "have" to miss any class...I call bull$h*t. I am starting to figure this school thing out to a degree.

It is 5x more intense than my previous undergrad degree of computer engineering, but the concepts aren't really any more difficult. It is just the amount of knowledge in a few weeks that we are supposed to get that make it tough.

I am bad at bulk memorization and really need to spend time getting visuals and figuring out things that can help me. I had a steep learning curve on the first tests of both classes because I don't actually think my puny few prerequisite classes were enough to prepare me for this program. A vast majority of my peer have MUCH MUCH more knowledge than me coming into the program. I am studying my ass off though and think I did well enough on my first two exams. I held a human heart today and cleaned the blood out of its vessels...the whole experience is surreal and awesome so I can't complain that much.

My life or what used to be my life is definitely suffering right now. I only have time for eating, commuting, studying and semi regular gym trips right now. Fun things like Saturday's on my mountain bike just aren't happening while I figure out how to survive this program.

Anyway, I am taking off for the weekend to head to San Diego on Friday. I may regret it when my next exam rolls around and I will definitely be studying part of the time there, but with no major tests next week, it ocean time baby.

Firehose Part II

For today's blog update...see last week's.

No seriously. More fire hose drinking, more dead bodies, more insane amounts of anatomy stuffed into a brain that had been on a mental diet for the last 3.5 years.

We have our first exam next week which covers 1/4 of the body. It is a four hour exam. Yes I realize that I have only had 2 weeks of school. This is how we PAs roll.

I am going to be spending this entire weekend studying, because for some reason, I am having a hard time memorizing 75 muscles and their innervations, orgins, insertions and actions (x3 because most have multiple). Memorization wasn't a big part of the engineering curriculum...so it is different.

I still feel very behind the curve as far as previous anatomy knowledge. Most people come from the health care world and just know a lot of the easier stuff. I have to learn it all right now and it is showing. Can't help but feel stupid at times. I am sure to catch up at some point, once we get past the stuff that my fellow classmates already know. Or maybe I am just not as smart as my mother thinks I am. It will be fun uncovering this. Sarcasm...sarcasm.

I have been faithfully to the gym but I am sorely missing things like mountain biking. My "I always drag him along when camping" husband is going camping without me inFlagstaff. Boo freaking hoo...what is the world coming to? I have virtually given up reading all blogs right now (and news/tv/any activity that can't be coupled with studying anatomy...i even study on the stairclimber). My brain is tired, but all the thinking it burning calores (my lowest weight in awhile) so that is good right?

Well enough bitching, time for my 40 min. commute. In all reality though, if you asked me whether I would rather be back at In-hell (my previous co., figure it out) or doing this new insane dance of the first year medical student, dance on my friends.

Signing off for another week. Cross fingers I won't fail my first exam.

Fire Hose Drinking

Wow...can't believe it has almost only been a week since I have posted. During orientation, they told us that the pace of learning would feel like we were trying to take a drink out of a fire hose.

We all laughed then. It is so true. We had four days of class this week, and I can't even believe how much information we both learned and are responsible for learning. We had 8 separate anatomy lectures and 9 hours of anatomy lab dissecting my first real human. We had 4 biochemistry lectures along with about 12 other lectures on everything from medical documentation, taking a patients history, etc. We have four days of class, but every Friday, they schedule study session and lab reviews so I will be on campus that day also. Lectures are so fast that it is impossible to catch everything so a lot of weekend review is needed to master the topic before the brain dump starts again.

It is equals parts amazing, ridiculous, fun and exhausting.

Alert. I will probably be talking about things like dissection of a cadaver quite a bit this quarter...so if that type of stuff bothers you, take note.

We started off day one with 5 hours of lecture followed by the immediate dissection of our cadaver's back skin and muscles. When you cut away the skin and reflect it (pull it back) it allows us to see all the fascia (connective tissue), fat and hopefully the outer back muscles. Our cadaver is a larger lady so we had to contend with a large amount of back fat which we had to remove before we could examine the superficial layer of extrinsic muscles. We uncovered layers of muscles until we were able to examine the spinal cord. We also cut into the spinal cord to see the layers inside of it. Lab was my favorite part this week.

My commute too and from school was about 40 minutes each way. It is shitty but actually better than I expected. I find that the amount of focus needed for the 8 hours of class each day followed by a couple hours of studying and a gym workout burns me up so bad that I do struggle on the drive home. I definitely foresee my caffeine intake increasing dramatically but that is unavoidable. I did find a carpool partner that I will switch some rides with, but she doesn't like to stick around to study or spend extra hours in the lab so I won't trade rides with her every day.

The program is going to be 1 year of this insane schedule, but the amount of information I will learn in that 1 year will be amazing. I did meet a cool biker friend in my class who I took out to Black Canyon Trail on Friday morning for a quick ride.

Okay, gotta study again. Party on my friends.

Schools Not Out For Summer

Orientation is over in all it's amazing glory.  Two days of 8 hours of presentations...fun fun.

This is what I learned.

1.  We can have a keg on campus but don't get drunk.

2.  Don't cheat.  No one wants a doctor who cheated their way through school.

3.  Wear old clothes to anatomy lab.  Dissecting bodies is grusome business.

4.  Expect to get stressed/anxious/depressed.  Apparently PA students use the counselor the most.

5.  Studying is generally a good idea.

6.  My commute is going to be around 40 min. each way.  It is going to get real old real quick.

7.  I need to read actively not passively whatever that means.

8.  Everyone needs some down time. 

9.  Everyone who works at Midwestern seems to love their job.  Even the librarian and the security guard.

10. This next year will be one of the most exciting and crazy years of my life.

I am very excited for school to start tomorrow.  Let the good times roll.

When Fun Must End

My ticket on the unemployed with nothing to do train is coming to an end. It was a great 2 .5 week ride while it lasted.

I can't keep track of all the fun things I did...and I am finally getting into shape again. But alas, tomorrow begins the new journey of excitement and good times studying in the library so cheetos and flappy arms here I come.

Orientation is tomorrow. I am excited to meet my new classmates who I will see for 8 hours a day for the next 14 months. I am electing myself "chief adventure officer" and plan to see any of them want to go explore a waterfall this weekend as a "welcome to arizona" trip.

Speaking of waterfalls, I hit up Christopher Creek canyon a couple of weeks ago and although the water level was a tad lower than last year, it was burrr... freezing. I am made of steel though (aka have body fat to keep me warm) so I didn't freeze as much as some of my puny friends Angel and Tim.