Friday, February 19, 2010

Wsup

Hola from the library on a Friday night. This weekend will be spent right here in this lovely wooden cubicle with my 4 giant binders full of the material still to be learned for next week's 6 thats right SIX finals. I am about to finish what has been my most difficult academic 10 weeks of my life and it can't come any sooner. But through it all, I gotta say:
"I feel so lucky to be where I right where I am."
Lately, outside of the obvious stress that I occasionally subcumb to, I have felt more and more extreme-delirious-giddy happiness that will literally well up out of my being as I think about my life from last year to this. I just celebrated my 29th birthday two days ago, and so naturally I took a moment to appreciate the obvious differences that have occurred since last February 18th till this one.
Lets enumerate:
Usually I am financially responsible to a fault, but for the first time, I made a huge emotional non financially sound decision, quit my job and have wracked up lots of paper IOUs. DO NOT REGRET. I now live on way way less sleep and way way more coffee and drive way way more than I ever have in the past. Whereas in the past, staying home and relaxing on Friday night was not something high on my agenda, now it is part of my "getting crazy and not studying" rebellion. But these physical changes can't begin to compare to the emotional changes I have felt inside. I feel such a passion for the career that I am going to embark on that it scares me. I am still like a new born babe full of sunshine and flowers. I know it will be hard and I know there is a lot of BS in medicine and the system we have set up in this country, but screw it I don't care.
I am damn excited to get out there. Clinical rotations start in 3 months...think of the cool stories I will have then!!
Dang they flashed the lights...the library is kicking me out. How rude.

4 comments:

Erin said...

That's right Banana....throw caution to the wind, bust out of that 9 to 5 and live. I knew you and I were friends for a reason. We can compare school debts over a few beers another time....

Kara said...

Han...hope you received my oh so lame Happy Birthday text (whatever happened to cards?) Haven't checked the blog in a while and am pleased to see you are still basking in no-sleep-study-all-the-time-IOU bliss. You are an inspirational freak of nature! Let's catch up soon

Anonymous said...

you make me laugh Hannah with your last comment about the lib. kicking you out. Keep on Studying! We all could use a good PA in the family :O)

megan said...

you're going to be kick ass at it too.