My LIFE in Scenes
Begin Scene
Girl and boy cuddling, girl playing with boy's hair, rubbing his face. Boy has eyes shut but is not sleeping. Girl touches (just touches very gently) boy's nose and boy jumps very violently.
Girl: "You are so ridiculously jumpy. I was touching your face and you could feel it so why would touching your nose make you jump."
Boy: "Well I am only jumpy with you, cause I am so scared of you."
Girl: "Well you get startled all the time. I can make you jump at any moment if I want too."
Boy: "It is not that EASY..."
Girl: "It's so easy a caveman can do it."
Sometimes I feel like I may be marrying a 12-year-old girl. Tom is very handsome and manly with muscles and many useful skills like laying tile and wiring electricity. However, he is one jumpy 'son of a gun' and is usually as easy to startle as a teeny bopper on a haunted pirate ride. I can freak him out simply by walking into a bedroom and talking to him. Seriously.
End Scene
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Begin Scene II
Girl walks anywhere with tank top on since it's 3 degrees shy of hell where she lives. Random or nearly random stranger engages girl with conversation about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness or shopping or some other lame topic. Three minutes into the conversation, random stranger thinks up a very interesting question to ask girl.
Stranger: "So um, do you work out?"
Girl: "Um no, I just have arm muscles that grow out of my arms naturally. Seriously, I am buff alone by the grace of the maker and they came with instructions that said 'do not work out, pass go or collect $200'. Yup, I am a freak of nature."
Since I have a general air of fitness that wafts around my body apparently, I actually get this question more than you would think possible. Probably close to 4 or 5 times a week with an exponential growth curve. I am serious. Maybe I am more buff lately or something but I just don't get the question. Of course I work out. Have you ever met a person with serious muscle who doesn't work out at all? Its like asking a girl walking out of the mall carrying 15 packages if she shops ever. DUH, nope never. Just saying people...
End Scene II
End Scene
****
Begin Scene II
Girl walks anywhere with tank top on since it's 3 degrees shy of hell where she lives. Random or nearly random stranger engages girl with conversation about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness or shopping or some other lame topic. Three minutes into the conversation, random stranger thinks up a very interesting question to ask girl.
Stranger: "So um, do you work out?"
Girl: "Um no, I just have arm muscles that grow out of my arms naturally. Seriously, I am buff alone by the grace of the maker and they came with instructions that said 'do not work out, pass go or collect $200'. Yup, I am a freak of nature."
Since I have a general air of fitness that wafts around my body apparently, I actually get this question more than you would think possible. Probably close to 4 or 5 times a week with an exponential growth curve. I am serious. Maybe I am more buff lately or something but I just don't get the question. Of course I work out. Have you ever met a person with serious muscle who doesn't work out at all? Its like asking a girl walking out of the mall carrying 15 packages if she shops ever. DUH, nope never. Just saying people...
End Scene II
Posts
3 comments:
Hannah, Tom is afriad of you, because he is only a couple of months away from joining the sad statistical category of being a battered spouse. He is fragile, and scared you need to be nice to him, he truly is a delicate little flower.
Chris, I am so happy that you are the ONLY person to comment on my blog. Thanks fore being such a great friend...gag.
Hannah, I will comment anytime you want, try to get tom to blog so I can taunt him as well. If not I may actually end up doing work, at work
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