This friend of yours, she always has some sort of drama going on. You know the one. Her car got broken into, she lost her wallet, she got dumped in glorious ridiculous fashion while getting hit by a bus and losing her job, etc. She is that girl. (I actually have many friends like this, I think I find them interesting). Well lately, I feel like that girl. Seriously. It like a cosmic pile of sh*t is raining down on me. Luckily I am feeling benevolent towards fate and have managed to laugh/raise eyebrows questioningly at it. Sort of. Overlooking the whole second ACL knee destruction & doctor disappearing act, (that is seriously not amusing). Let's just stick with this week. I am home alone cause my honey is working in a crappy town in Southern AZ in a mine. No big deal right? Foreshadowing for later.
Monday night, I went over to my townhouse which I no longer live in and will be renting out starting next week. I have been getting it ready for renters for about a month. This is the same place that sprung a giant leak two weeks ago and had water running down the walls which in turn ruined some of the new wood flooring that we had just put in. Stay on task woman. Anyway, I think the refrigerator is dying. There is a whole lotta whining and noises coming from the engine, which is usually indicative of motor burnout. Great... Then I decided to do a load of dishes because I am packing them up for the Good Will so I fill it with soap, crank the knob and...nothing. It just isn't working at all. I have sprouted giant holes in pocket that all of my money is falling out of.
Tuesday night, I noticed, as the temperature dropped, that the house (not the town house but the one I currently live in with the actual furniture), is rather chilly. I check the thermostat: set for 70, but current temperature, a balmy 60 degrees. Remember how I enjoy setting my air at 83 for optimal comfort during the long hot summer? Well 83 - 60 is 23 degrees of hypothermia entering my body. Every degree under optimal makes me unhappy and the latest development of being bloody cold isn't driving my yuletide spirit.
Wednesday night was a dosey. Really it is one of the more exciting events of the recent past. I am minding my own business at around 9pm, when I hear a knock at my door. I peak out to see a young guy I don't know. He looks okay and waves so I open the door. He tells me he is a neighbor from across the street and that he works from home. He has noticed some suspicious people loitering around our house that day and in his opinion, they are casing our house to break in. Whaaaa...t? So our house is not... what's that word I am looking for, oh yeah, secure. I have broken in at least 5 times due to lost keys because many of our windows do not lock. Now for all you robbers out there, I am remedying the situation so don't think about it.
So I immediately think about how Tom is not here, which is obvious by the fact that his giant work truck is not in the driveway and how the window by my bed doesn't lock and how we have a really nice tv that is viewable through our open blinds which we leave open because our house is on the market for sale. So I freak out and go look for weapons in the garage. I find a really solid tire wrenching tool and my pocket knife. That's about it. Oh and a shovel. I am armed and ready. I call Tom, he calls the police, and they stop by just to check out the situation. Really there is nothing they can do, and I survive the night unscathed, but I am thinking that we better get a house sitter over Christmas.
So if Wednesday night was weird, Thursday was even more sickly fate-dependant. I decided to go to a women's frisbee practice but when I arrived, there were no lights and therefore no practice. One of my friends there however, was going to go watch her bf play at another field where there was an all male league game going on. So we get blueberry beer and I tag along to help heckle the guys. I am sitting on the sideline, drinking my amazing blueberry nectar and chatting with my pals, when BAM, something hits me in the face hard. I had zero reaction time and it took a couple of seconds to realize what had happened. Yes, this former rugby player who had previously never broken her nose in the 8 years she played managed to accomplish this feat while SPECTATING an ultimate frisbee game. I am told that the guy wound up to thrown a 80 meter zinger about 10 feet from me, and misdirected the disc directly into my nose. Thank you fate. Now fortunately, I have a larger than normal nose and the disc hit me directly straight on, so there is no crookedness or missing teeth, just a lot of blood and swelling. At this point in this amazing week, I did the only logical thing that I could do, I went to the bar.
Stay tuned for Friday's episode. I may not leave the house so that nothing else can befall me. I also have a theory that since my friend Erin also known as The Person That Everything Random In The World That Can Happen To Will Happen moved back to the east coast, I am taking her spot in this sick sick game. Come back Erin!
Monday night, I went over to my townhouse which I no longer live in and will be renting out starting next week. I have been getting it ready for renters for about a month. This is the same place that sprung a giant leak two weeks ago and had water running down the walls which in turn ruined some of the new wood flooring that we had just put in. Stay on task woman. Anyway, I think the refrigerator is dying. There is a whole lotta whining and noises coming from the engine, which is usually indicative of motor burnout. Great... Then I decided to do a load of dishes because I am packing them up for the Good Will so I fill it with soap, crank the knob and...nothing. It just isn't working at all. I have sprouted giant holes in pocket that all of my money is falling out of.
Tuesday night, I noticed, as the temperature dropped, that the house (not the town house but the one I currently live in with the actual furniture), is rather chilly. I check the thermostat: set for 70, but current temperature, a balmy 60 degrees. Remember how I enjoy setting my air at 83 for optimal comfort during the long hot summer? Well 83 - 60 is 23 degrees of hypothermia entering my body. Every degree under optimal makes me unhappy and the latest development of being bloody cold isn't driving my yuletide spirit.
Wednesday night was a dosey. Really it is one of the more exciting events of the recent past. I am minding my own business at around 9pm, when I hear a knock at my door. I peak out to see a young guy I don't know. He looks okay and waves so I open the door. He tells me he is a neighbor from across the street and that he works from home. He has noticed some suspicious people loitering around our house that day and in his opinion, they are casing our house to break in. Whaaaa...t? So our house is not... what's that word I am looking for, oh yeah, secure. I have broken in at least 5 times due to lost keys because many of our windows do not lock. Now for all you robbers out there, I am remedying the situation so don't think about it.
So I immediately think about how Tom is not here, which is obvious by the fact that his giant work truck is not in the driveway and how the window by my bed doesn't lock and how we have a really nice tv that is viewable through our open blinds which we leave open because our house is on the market for sale. So I freak out and go look for weapons in the garage. I find a really solid tire wrenching tool and my pocket knife. That's about it. Oh and a shovel. I am armed and ready. I call Tom, he calls the police, and they stop by just to check out the situation. Really there is nothing they can do, and I survive the night unscathed, but I am thinking that we better get a house sitter over Christmas.
So if Wednesday night was weird, Thursday was even more sickly fate-dependant. I decided to go to a women's frisbee practice but when I arrived, there were no lights and therefore no practice. One of my friends there however, was going to go watch her bf play at another field where there was an all male league game going on. So we get blueberry beer and I tag along to help heckle the guys. I am sitting on the sideline, drinking my amazing blueberry nectar and chatting with my pals, when BAM, something hits me in the face hard. I had zero reaction time and it took a couple of seconds to realize what had happened. Yes, this former rugby player who had previously never broken her nose in the 8 years she played managed to accomplish this feat while SPECTATING an ultimate frisbee game. I am told that the guy wound up to thrown a 80 meter zinger about 10 feet from me, and misdirected the disc directly into my nose. Thank you fate. Now fortunately, I have a larger than normal nose and the disc hit me directly straight on, so there is no crookedness or missing teeth, just a lot of blood and swelling. At this point in this amazing week, I did the only logical thing that I could do, I went to the bar.
Stay tuned for Friday's episode. I may not leave the house so that nothing else can befall me. I also have a theory that since my friend Erin also known as The Person That Everything Random In The World That Can Happen To Will Happen moved back to the east coast, I am taking her spot in this sick sick game. Come back Erin!
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5 comments:
NEVER!
I'm happy to hand over the title of "that girl." I haven't even been that girl at a party lately. Odd, very odd...
I kind of feel like "that girl" as well. i guess its just that time of year where shit just wants to go wrong. i am having surgery jan 7th...did you schedule yours yet?
I haven't scheduled it yet because I want to wait till end of Feb so I can ride my bike in my birthday version of biking till i drop on Feb 16th. Prob end of Feb though. Hope ur's is better in no time scrummie.
ur totally soooo coooool. keep rockin
dear anon.
so are youuuuuu.
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