Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Deliverables

[Upon rereading this blog, I will warn you that it is really quite random and may not be at all entertaining. You have been warned.]

Hello gang. I wish I could blog something witty or funny but my creative juices are currently being ravished by something known as deliverables. Do you know what deliverables are? A deliverable as a noun, is the evil corporate term for something that needs to be finished and put to bed. Not like a child, but more like a project which is complete and removed off of a task list.

They keep telling me to deliver my deliverables, but I really want to deliver the message to them that my deliverables are not fun and I don't want to deliver anything to them other a pile of dog poop. Too crass? Probs.

I am going to give my orthopedic PA a deliverable tomorrow in our appointment which will be to magically heal my knee through modern medical miracles. If she is unable to deliver on her deliverables, I may be forced to set up a task force to acertain why the deliverable has slipped its schedule and what we can do about it.

Very shortly (end of April), I hope to complete my last deliverable which will be to scrub my brain of all corporate lingo, TLAs*, and other business related terminology to make way for memorizing each muscle and bone in the body. Sweetness. Put a memo on that TPS report.** Bam.

*TLA = Three Letter Acronym
**Office Space...where have you been living?

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