Thursday, April 3, 2008

Don't Do This.

Ranting is fun, I promise!

Example A: Here is some free advice. Don't plan to give the dictionary definition of a word in a speech and then base the rest of the speech off of that definition. It is so 1995. That right Jared's Jewelry Slaveshop. Stop with your crappy radio advertisements that give the definition of love according to Websters and somehow turn that into equaling buying diamonds.

Example B: Also, if I say "guess what?" to you and I haven't seen you for a couple of weeks, don't assume I am going to tell you that I am pregnant. I got married. I didn't lose all brain cells and immediately forget how babies are made. I probably just want to tell you about my new bike or this guy that smelled in the elevator at work.

Example C: Guess what? No I am not pregnant (pay attention...ex B), but I do want to say that not every piece of advice a doc gives works for 100% of the people. So don't shake your head at me and tell me that I am going to tear my knee a third time because I don't listen to my doctor. It may happen because I can't control life and choose to engage in adventurous activities where this type of thing happens. But don't presume to know my body more than I know my body which is better than my doc knows my body. Maybe next time I will break my collarbone not my knee. So there.

In other news, I am heading tomorrow morning for the great state of Florida to watch a friend tie the knot. Congrats to TL & his lovely fiance. We didn't think you could do it. As Chris pointed out here, it still might not happen. What this means internet, is that I will most likely not be posting again until next week. Dry your eyes, there are exciting archives to read. I suggest the my life is boring tag if you enjoy sticking a pencil in your eye.


Your Scrumhalf Connection said...

don't let the haters (yes i said haters!) get you down! we know our bodies and we know what they can take...having been through this twice now and you three say we are somewhat qualified!

chris thomas said...

Hannah, when my wife was a week or so away from her due date, our neighborhood got egged. Every phone call I made to share the great news I started off with...:guess what" and they all got mad cause they thought I was calling to tell them I was a new daddy. Start paragraphs however you want. If your loyal readers want to assume your prego, tell them to get their heads out of the gutter. You guys get to go outside and stuff, unlike midwesterners who have little else to do but make babies. That and Hockey.