Biking: It's Better With Air

Here is my friend Monika. She is cute right? Sorry kids, she is taken. But I have to poke a little fun at Moni because Internet, she is a hot mess on a bike. She gave me permission to make fun of her so I will because that is the kind of friend I am.

Let me explain. I am the type of person that thinks everyone will enjoy my hobbies, if they just try them. My enthusiasm for getting new people out in nature or on a bike or climbing up a mountain is tempered only by my own lack of abilities. I love sharing, teaching and motivating outdoor adventures. In other words, I am bossy.

So I have been trying to convert all my friends to bikers. It is better to have tons of biker friends, especially ones that are newer than you so that you always have someone to ride with and feel like a rockstar around. Moni decided that she would give mountain biking a try, so we agreed to meet at Papago Park for some easy beginner riding.

I know Monika has a bike, but I also know she has slicks on it because it is mostly used for commuting. So when she shows up with her husband's bike, I am not surprised. I am ready to go, excited that the temperature is not above 95 and feels downright cool. She pulls out her bike and says tells me she just needs to put air in one of her tires and then she is ready to go.

I look at her tire and realize that it is a little more than low, it is flat. Upon further investigation, I realize her back tube's presta valve is completely gone and there is nothing to hold the air in. I ask her what happened, she has no idea. I ask her if she has an extra tube, and she looks at me blankly.

Luckily I have an extra presta tube. So I try to remove her tire using my keys because of course I can't find my tire irons. After bending two badly, we get her tire off and swap the tube. Then of course we use her tiny hand pump to pump up the tube. This does not work very well but we finally get enough air in it to ride on. Then we realize that the front tube is also fairly flat so we try to pump that up with the same crappy hand pump and we are finally ready.

Monika then informs me that she is too stylen to have a helmet and she was hoping she wouldn't need one. Now I don't know about you, but I don't want to teach mountain biking to a someone wearing a baseball cap. I already had one bad experience where I injured another friend during our intro to mtb lesson. So I force her to wear mine and off we go.

Very quickly into the ride, her front tire starts to go flat and must have a hole in it (not the one we swapped). She feels unstable on the hills and thinks her bike is about to fall apart or the tire is going to fall off or something dreadful. So I switch bikes with her and she immediately takes off exclaiming how much she likes my bike. Yeah, I know hon. That's why I love it.

Now to her credit, once I gave her all my good equipment (just bike and helmet, thats all) and I took all her crappy equipment (un-tuned bike with flat tire and a baseball cap), she did really good. She rode the around the buttes, got a taste of single track and learned some rocky downhill techniques. I on the other hand got a really good workout with my flat tire.

Anyway, I told her she was like Britney Spears on a bike, if BritBrit knew how to ride that is. So cheers Moni, we'll do it again sometime.

PS, Monika is also originally from Germany as such, wanted me to express her LOVE of the HOFF and all things David Hasselhoff related.